Tag Archives: cichlid abuse

NFSFFW

What does NFSFFW mean? Well, Not Safe For Work is NSFW, then we have Not Fucking Safe for Fucking Work.

I’m trying to warn you, that in this post in particular, if you’re offended by bad language, you had better run away. This post is offensive. Nice, huh? I’ve probably guaranteed everyone will read right to the end. It’s mostly pictures, it’s not like it will strain you.

WARNING: CHILDREN, SHUT YOUR EYES NOW!
VERY BAD LANGUAGE AHEAD

There are a lot of people searching for ponies and ending up on this blog. You probably want to close this window now, before you’re inducted into the Queen of Darkness’s armies.

****

What am i enraged about today? Hmm… let’s see. Aside from the usual, like the government’s plans to censor the internet for all Australians, i’m not feeling super enraged. I thought instead i’d show you some pretty pictures. Ready?

Here we go!

just the thing for the church picnic

just the thing for the church picnic, & thought-provoking

Hmm… i don’t know if I want that one, people might think i’m a believer. There’s always shock value ….

i'm not sure i'm this much of an attention whore

i'm not sure i'm this much of an attention whore

In the end, i designed my own.

Finbert rides again

Finbert rides again

Root means ‘sex’ in Australian, by the way – ‘wanna root?’ = ‘wanna fuck’. Yep, i think i’ll go with the one above – that poor fish, he’s had a workout.

Finbert also appeared in this post, where he was sexually abused by Burt Lancaster. It wasn’t Burt’s fault, it was a typo – you see, that fish is a cichlid. Read the post, seriously, it makes sense there. Well, as much sense as i ever make.

I was reading back over some posts while chasing down links for this and noticed that my most popular posts remain the ones you think are sexual (aside from whichever is the newest one).

You still can’t get enough Camel Toe for the Beginner – which does have camel toe, but also has bizarre fetishes, just so nobody gets lonely.

Another hawt sexy post Toaster Sex Will Rot Your Brain is actually a very nice rant on the unfairness of being banned because i have breasts. I still love the pics i did for that one. There’s something about toaster sex.

Yeah, i know most visitors are not really admiring the size of my brain or my cute pictures. Or even my Minions’ Badges. You’re looking for porn. (Or ponies, various birds, Antichrist humor, penectomies, and sex dolls. Seriously. And people say I’m weird.)

I do have a disclaimer somewhere that points out that when i mention sex, i do put in enough jokes to make it highly interruptive if you’re trying to masturbate. And i really wasn’t serious about inserting furniture.

If you like the two tshirts at the top, and want one, click the pic to go the shops that sell them.

I think the third one rocks. I want one of those! Where’s my Number One Minion? Make it so, Number One!

*****

In other news – there are at least 17 people visiting my blog every day! SEVENTEEN! Wow.

Seventeen people is enough for a death squad, this is so cool!

Bless you, dear little minions Beloved Visitors.

© https://stinginthetail.wordpress.com

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Sleeping with the fishes takes on a whole new meaning

I was reading back on this morning’s post. Someone’s got to read it, there’s not many people even know about it yet. Still, the work towards world domination continues, i’m up to 31 followers on Twitter.

I expect to be able to invade something (like Poland) once my loyal troops get here, but don’t hold your breath, hardly anyone’s RSVPed to my offer of a good square meal in exchange for invading the Budgewoi foreshore.

part of the McKenzie Reserve in Budgewoi

part of the McKenzie Reserve in Budgewoi

It’s a lovely spot. Still, perhaps it’s too soon – i should just annex the next house along and wait before i invade the picnic area.

While reading, i check for typos. Mistakes cost meaning. If people always misunderstand you, it’s probably because what you think and what you type are two different things.

Like the guy on a private site i saw this morning – “do you think it’s right,” he blogged, “that the government is giving money to people with work instead of giving it to the people who need it, the people with work?”

No, it doesn’t make sense – he missed out putting an out on the end of the 2nd with. We can figure out what he means (i’ve made it clear in my paraphrased example), but it’s not always that easy.

One of the most common left-out words in internet chat and writing is “not”. The number of times i’ve seen people get in trouble with that one.

Besides, if you don’t read your own blogs, you never get to know that you typoed child sexual abuse as cichlid sex abuse, and so nobody knew what the fuck you were talking about, except some dude with a background in freshwater fish.

The fish bloke  gave you a long and incomprehensible email lecture on how though he had some sympathy with your views, you were never going to convince the mainstream fish hobbyist that baby cichlids could be affected by viewing Toaster Insertions XX.

why you must proofread

why you must proofread

Anyway, i was reading, thinking about how i don’t have many readers, and thought, hang on… and i Googled myself. Which was just magnificent. I had one of those “in your face Al Gore!” moments (he’s got a bigger following than i have on Twitter).  Yep *looks proud* I’m on Google.

My last website, which i started back in 1998, despite me trying my best, only made it to Google after about eight years, under the most bizarre search terms. One was shoe. (It’s not there any more – with no notice, Tripod deleted it, after ten years, then wouldn’t explain why they had done so, though they did switch the blank site back on. So screw you guys.)

ZOMG i said to Mr Bastard, after Googling myself, I’m searchable! How good is WordPress? They said they’d get me on Google, and there i am! He was happy for me. He’s seen bits of the content, but he’s not actually reading this, so i could say stuff about him and he’d never know. Hang on, i gave him the URL. Sshhh.

Anyway, i don’t usually write to people to say, excuse me, but when you said you were in favour of killing all people over the age of 23, did you mean you weren’t? Seeing you’re 24?  But damnation, I WANT TO.

Maybe i should start a company, that just reads people’s websites and spots the typos. I could be very sarcastic, and call it Stinginthemail. Charge people, obviously – anyone who’d like their site checked, please make me an offer.

I could give my mother a job, she can spot a typo at 100 paces, we both can. She needs a job, says she can’t live on the pension – i said, ffs, it’s not a lifestyle choice, mother, (not unless i actually make some money some day, and can help her out), but she misheard me, and now thinks that failing to live within your means is a lifestyle choice.

The English language is flexible, (we can live with a different version in every English speaking country) but some things will actually break it.

The Cichlid porn pics are originally from this site and the Burt Lancaster in gaol for cichlid abuse Brute Force pic is from this one.

(I try to be scrupulous about attribution and citing.
If you don’t think i’ve cited your work properly,
or you want a link to your site removed, please – just ask.)

© stinginthetail.wordpress.com