Quiet. I am hiding from The Thing. It’s a book I’m writing. It’s called The Thing for a reason. I’ve been working on it for so long – well, in other forms – since 1995. This Thing is like the distillation of The Things That Came Before.
I’ll go back to it in a minute, but i just wanted to rave to someone, and i mustn’t go into Twitter, except to punt this post, of course, as i’ve had my twitterhit… or whatever it’s called, for today.
Not that i’m ruthless, well, not about time. Time is an illusion. Twitter doubly so. Heh – sorry, hippy moment, it will pass, and we’ll be back to me killing things. Or nailing men’s genitalia to the wall. This blog has a Trophy Room.
So far i have Kyle Sanderson, (an Australian celebrity), and God. Well, not them exactly, but i have their genitalia. With God, i only got the scrotum. Does God seem strange to you lately?
A woman needs a hobby, and i don’t have a pony to ride, so this is it. No, not collecting genitals, that’s just an interest. My hobby is my blog. It’s where i have fun. I’m often surprised when people come back at me with some joke that shows they read my blog. Hardly any of them comment. *looks petulant* I’m allegedly scary. Pfft.
Oh, and speaking of me, my blog stats are pitiful. P.I.T.I.F.U.L. – the Christmas gingerbread rush is over. *cries* Most of my hits are still from people searching for gingerbread, but it’s down to only five gingerbread-househunters a day, from the dizzy pre-Baby Jebus heights of fifty a day.
Now people are looking for sex again. And camel toe, that old staple. Everyone should do a post or two on camel toe, it’s brilliant for accidental Google hits. Penectomy doesn’ t hurt either, i mean, it doesn’t hurt your hits.
In other news: i have a new widget now – a button. *shiny thing moment* Yep, you click on it, put in your email, and an auto-email goes out every time i update. Which won’t be that often. It’s over there, on the left *waves that way*
What? It’s a complete fluke that i’ve done more posts in last couple of weeks than i have in ages. No, no, i’m not going to start blogging more in the New Year. *looks innocent* That would smack of some kind of New Year’s Resolution… and we don’t do those.
Note: okay, so i’m going to try to, but i didn’t decide at New Year.
It was before Christmas.