I’m still drugged out of my mind to stop my cold symptoms – don’t worry, i’ll be brief. I probably won’t be lucid. Hell, it’s the weekend, most of you are drunk, we’ll be fine.
Have been thinking how I don’t like being pigeonholed – there’s more to me than my sexual choices – more than my religions, (I have several – one in which i am the religion), or my politics. Anarchist monarchist, for those who’ve just joined us.
I reckon i could take over Sydney and the Central Coast simply by getting the trains to run on time and nationalising the toll roads – a toll road shouldn’t be the only way to get to work within a reasonable time. And i’m forced to sing, “fun fun fun on the autobahn” for the 3% of readers who will get the joke.
I was thinking tanks at first – for the world domination thing – but they’re a bugger to park, or to get parts for, and it’s been suggested by a minion that the invasion force should go for Subaru Outbacks – 4WD, more reliable, not as obvious. Not armoured, but there’s not going to be much resistance – after all, we’re not going to be constrained by silly things like the police are (mostly) – like not being supposed to shoot except in emergencies.
I reckon legalise everything, and tax it hard. Not guns – lol – you’re not getting those. What do you think, i’m joking about the monarchist part? Control will be important. *sweet smile* Just like in a democracy.
I’ll shoot the rich, of course. Well, celebrities to start with – they can be first to the wall. You can eat them if you want, but i reckon all that Botox and the fake tan probably makes them unfit for human consumption.
I was going somewhere with this argument, but then i realised, i wasn’t really arguing, i was just sorta laying out my plans for world domination. However, unless i actually go back to work on this book, there won’t be anything to fund the freaking revolution with.
Oh – before i go, favourite new Tweeter is … *goes to look up name*
OMFG! I just saw @TurnbullMalcolm is following me on Twitter! He’s Leader of the Aussie Opposition, to whom i sent a strange tweet, (detailed in “the bacon vanilla shake and other stories“) and then unfollowed, when he didn’t laugh. I hope he doesn’t start stalking me. I probably got him excited with all my talk of world domination.
*note to self* Must tone down the autocracy, talk of taking over the world is a turn-on for some people. Right wing blokes love handbagging biatchez like former British PM Margaret Thatcher. Reagan used to come in his pants every time Maggie clubbed one of her Cabinet to death.
Before i forget – best new follow is @WiggyExposed – the tweets of a shared house in Sydney – which doesn’t mind dealing the dirt on its residents.
Emma only weighs 53 kilograms thanks to her diet. Apparently souls are very low in calories.
Lachlan gave his old night gown* to Megan. Little does he know that it’s going straight to the Lachlan voodoo shrine in her room.
I run Wiggy Exposed at great personal risk. However, the truth needs to be heard! Emma eats the mice in the freezer!
* i checked with Lachlan, (on Twitter he’s @Warlach),
who assures me that the ‘gown’ is a dressing gown/kimono.
My favourite posts are…
The Wiggy love tree. Lachlan has slept with Megan who slept with Emma who slept with Tom who slept with Duncan who also slept with Lachlan.
No one has slept with Carl.
It’s early days, but already i’m hooked.