The bacon vanilla shake and other stories

Twitter is still enjoyable – despite the Twoprahs (the people who only joined Twitter because @Oprah did.)

I’ve unfollowed rather a lot of people. Anyone i’ve Unfollowed – it doesn’t mean i hate you – perhaps just means i don’t think from what you tweet we have much in common. Unfollowing might be over something as innocent as talking about kids a lot – i don’t like *delicate shudder* children.

If you’re spouting something i consider to be wrong, i may correct you, but not if you seem to have a closed mind, and aren’t offering me any reason to look at your point of view rationally – no matter what your belief. Rather than rip you to pieces and tapdance on your still-quivering corpses, (or ‘argue’ as you Earthlings call it), i choose to unfollow.

I know how to persuade people to consider another point of view – it’s not by shouting back at them when they’re angry. The 140 characters of Twitter aren’t the forum for it. I still reply if people I’ve unfollowed speak to me – i check my @ replies at least once every Twitter visit.

Speaking of shouty people – I’m getting a little over the atheist faction on Twitter – for heaven’s sake, fundamentalist atheism is just like all the other fundamentalist religions. Yep, fucking boring.

If I wanted fundamentalists, I’d still be following the Christian conservatives I accidentally got tangled up with. (I was just doing a quiz!) At least they could talk about something other than God.

For instance, I’d never heard of a bacon and vanilla shake – yep, reckon they’ll have to let the Buckle of the Bible Belt out a little. I eventually unfollowed over the teabag protests.

I had no idea what was going on, but it was going on too much on my page. I was quite surprised they were into teabagging – i always thought that was a mostly gay thing, and no way was i going to look at footage of it.

Now, I know they’re not into gays – i’m not stupid. I’ve heard about Preparation H. Wait, that’s not right – oh yeah, Proposition Eight – well, if you say them aloud, you can see how i mixed them up.

Earlier i was talking to someone about haemorrhoids. In Australia i think they call it Rectinol. Preparation H, i mean, over here we call Proposition Eight ‘gay marriage’ and even the Labor Party is afraid of it (silly buggers).

As for why the conservatives hate gays – am pretty sure  gay people don’t allow bacon and vanilla shakes. Think about it, your favourite food, and they won’t stop whining about the saturated fat in the bacon, and did you make it with skinny milk?

Oh, there’s a more recent definition of teabagging – lol – you Americans and your funny ways – aside from putting your testicles in someone’s mouth, it was a political protest. Hmm – surely if they disagreed with you, they’d just bite your balls off?

Hmm… while we’re chatting, I feel i should make it clear, when i said fisting Oprah in the last post, i wasn’t talking about punching my fist in the air and cheering her on. Gosh, you must have been confused. This post’s no better. I’m going to need subtitles.

I have 250 people (and assorted bots) following me – about 90 of whom i follow back. And there’s another 90 ‘people’ i follow who don’t follow me back. Yep – the truth of Twitter – i don’t see the GUM unless they address me directly. (The Great Unfollowed Masses. Or MPRSH – aka Marketing, PR, Salespeople, and Hookers.)

If you’re in marketing? Don’t autofollow people for mentioning certain words – look at what they say. Following lots of people who don’t follow you back and not engaging with people who do follow you, (talking at them) is a major Twitter turn-off.

As evinced by my exchange with the Leader of the Opposition here in Oz @TurnbullMalcolm. Note, his staff didn’t get him a  good name, just his backwards. *rolls eyes* Makes you look like the Antichrist, Mal, and believe me, that’s fine if you’re me, but probably not so good for you.

Oprah’s staff got her @Oprah, Mal. You’re a millionaire many times over, buy some cool employees, instead of relying on people who vote Liberal. Or work in marketing.*snigger* (Liberal here is our version of the Nazi Republican Party – not liberal at all.)

He was talking about the current government’s new National Broadband Network (cost $43b), which i’ve blogged about before, and said it was “too good to be true”. I was stone cold sober, and said – directly to him…

teh fairywingz of ruddnet will take us to fairyland – except the unbelievers *looks at u* repent! (and can i borrow $43b?)

Maybe i wasn't clear...

Maybe i wasn't clear...


About stinginthetail

On Twitter as @stinginthetail. I write as Lee Abrey. Free copy of my top-rated book Polo Shawcross: The Birthday Dragon at View all posts by stinginthetail

7 responses to “The bacon vanilla shake and other stories

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