I wrote this.
the sky is black, watching people run to escape the rain come howling over the lake, only dandelions still dancing out there
Sometimes on Twitter, someone says something beautiful. My thanks to @cataractmoon for telling me he liked it, which prompted me to read it over, and realise i liked it too.
Me, i’ve been calm, reading detective fiction. I’ll be the cool protagonist, at least i will when the hero is cool. And funny too. Most things i like – and men i like – are funny.
That’s what books are for. Lovely escapist stuff, whether heavy or light. I become the hero or anti-hero or the chick being chased by the Mob, just for a while.Or i lose myself in other ways, distracted from the world.
Instead of having to take crap from people, i shoot them in the head. Or when feeling evil, both feet. Or run them over with a tank. *happy thoughts*
The big news on Twitter has been @aplusk (Ashton Kutcher) hitting a million followers, *sound of gagging* and people trying to make out the new social media has triumphed. Perhaps that should be Twiumphed. It is a twiumph for young Ashton, although he did say it was for all his followers – however, he doesn’t follow back.
The Queen of Darkness points out that she could get a million followers just by saying keywords like sex and marketing – he had to beg and do webcasts. And get Oprah to use Twitter. (Her staff had the account ready – there are a lot of wannabe Oprah’s on Twitter already who would have grabbed @oprah if they could.)
Oprah’s perfectly suited to the overhyped world of the multi level marketer salespeople who infest Twitter – make money, ask me how! find god, ask me how! retire early, ask me how! lose weight, ask me how!
I just preemptively blocked @Oprah.
So I did too – hey, I’m easily led, and did think it was an excellent idea. And brothers and sisters, i must confess – it felt good. We were taking back Twitter from the celebs. Of course, it being the weekend, things went downhill from there.
Someone (allegedly Australian, no, it wasn’t me) started the #fistingoprah trend which did well for about 24 hours. It led to comments like this one – from me…
i’m thinking, if we want to get serious we’re going to need industrial quantities of lube – oh, and a winch #fistingoprah
Then @Dewayne1A said,
How much would you need and should i remove my watch first? learning to #fistingoprah
I include his post to prove that it wasn’t just me. I replied,
depends how much she fights you – and if you go for anal #fistingoprah
There were screams of horror. And of course, the one that got retweeted was this one below – when i was at my most flippant, suggesting ways of making the #fistingoprah hashtag movement go viral.
anal #fistingoprah might have more resonance – let’s face it, most ppl here are men lkg 4 backdoor action
I wasn’t even drinking. I scared some folks. The idea of backdoor Oprah freaked them out badly. We’re talking possible lawsuits for mental trauma. Hey, if you can’t stand the heat, stay out of Her Majesty’s Tweetstream.
Boy, was i glad i got the whole “following Ashton Kutcher” thing out of my system last week! People trying to unfollow him can’t do it – Twitter is broken just for him (you can unfollow anyone except Ashton) – so maybe he doesn’t have that many followers.
People got excited over Oprah – was like Jesus was visiting. Someone said that Oprah said, “Gayle, go get me a Twinkie.” However, when i went to check the wording, her first post was
HI TWITTERS . THANK YOU FOR A WARM WELCOME. FEELING REALLY 21st CENTURY .
All in caps, huh? What a noob. I have been on Twitter since… about mid-March? Yep, March 14th i think. I’m old in the Twitterverse. Four weeks! (I have however been online for over a decade.)
I did some research – other people on the web say Oprah’s first tweet was indeed “Gayle go get me a twinkie.”
Me, i liked “Gayle, go get me a twinkie.” I reckon Oprah should have gone for that.
I’d quite like my first tweet as world ruler to be something intimate, let people think they know the real me. I even liked the intertextuality of it. I loved how it gave a wee nod to this famous lolcat.
Anal fisting, poetry, a lolcat, and celebrity gossip. Damn, i spoil you all.
I’ve had so much fun #fistingoprah, i’m not sure what could top it. The voices-outside-my-head say not to worry, but the voices-inside-my-head are trying to shoot me with the tranquiliser gun.
As this blog is posted, these are the hottest #topics on Twitter – this afternoon, #herebeforeoprah was top – a less invasive version of #fistingoprah – then the Formula One came on, (Chinese Grand Prix), and people began to focus on the important things. #asot400 is part of a 72 hour trance music festival, and Susan Boyle is a newly-discovered singer.
The Twitterverse united by sport and music – and a love for Twitter.
It’s quite sweet, really.