Saved by the Amish

All day i’ve been bleeding Followers on Twitter – even all the MLM people adding me isn’t helping. Down to 113 Followers from 118. *sobs* Yes, the conservatives read my blog, realised they were following the Queen of Darkness and unfollowed me. For a while, i was so traumatised, that I even contemplated following the MLM people back, just so they wouldn’t leave.

Sure, i’m an agent for evil seeking world domination, but you could have followed me on Twitter, i don’t make anything explode there.  You’re in much more danger in here. *incinerates a pretty white dove just for kicks*

Goddamnit, i gave you badges. I taught you how to kill armed only with a pair of high heels. So i was blasphemous (probably) by making jokes about the Antichrist – but someone’s got to do it. I would have let you ride on the tank.

Well, I would if Reg (the Mechanic of Doom) ever figures out how to fix the tracks. It was a posse of old age pensioners, outside the chemist. I’m simply spitting over it. Reg thinks they might have bent the tracks with their titanium joints. It’d only been out of the shop a day.

Still, i reckon the old folk didn’t feel a thing – once i’d knocked them down they were out cold before the track went over. I did apologise, to their spirits, and helpfully shone the tank’s headlights in the direction of the Light. I keep telling you, i’m really a very nice person.

Anyway, so after my ruthless clearout of MLM people the other day, i couldn’t keep going with only Ericasfish and TheBloggess. I needed more to read on Twitter, so i went adding to those i Follow –  and naturally, i’ve found heaps of interesting Tweeple. And omg omg – i found the HotAmishChick. She’s got a pony that likes junk food. I’ve added 50 people i liked.

Oh – i have bowed to peer pressure – evidently ‘bastard‘ is such an offensive word (to some non-Australian people) that i was making eyeballs explode, (so a non-Aussie friend put it) although they’d be alright “once they got over the shock” of me. Strangely reassured, i rejigged the header and blogname here, so people could link to it without being embarrassed by sudden blindness.

Eyeballs exploding all over an office cubicle are, i’m told, very embarrassing. I’m allowed to say ‘fuck’ once you start reading, but no swearing til your eyeballs are safely inside the blog post itself. *looks guilty*

Humans, I forget how easily shocked they are. Mr B isn’t easily shocked. He can’t be Mr B-word any more, seeing i’m not Ms B-word – he’s going to need to be renamed. I think i’m going to do a Scarlett O’Hara on that one, and think about it tomorrow.

I was trying to explain Twitter to a friend who understands chat rooms and instant messagers, and said it was like a giant chat room where there was a big get-together going on – and you couldn’t hear everyone, but you could eavesdrop if you moved around, and say things to people, some of them quite famous – they might ignore you, even the not-very-famous-at-all. Or, as happened to me, they might talk back! I’ve been ignored – in a pleasant way – by lots of people so far, so one talking back was a shock.

oh *has fuzzy moment* i just hit 121 Followers on Twitter. *sheds a tear* Now if i can just get some of them to read the blog and not be frightened. Oh – i know.

*leaves snacks and chocolate*

And i was just looking at Twitter, and something happened, something legendary. Yes, the Fail Whale appeared to me.

yes, it's time to go to bed

yes, it's time to go to bed



About stinginthetail

On Twitter as @stinginthetail. I write as Lee Abrey. Free copy of my top-rated book Polo Shawcross: The Birthday Dragon at View all posts by stinginthetail

2 responses to “Saved by the Amish

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