Tales from the Twitterverse

i discovered one of my Tweeple was a convicted spammerarrrggghhh! (Maybe check your list, lol.) So i went through my Following quite ruthlessly. Unfollow you! No quarter given to MLM people – die die die!

And don’t tell me you’re a writer when your promo site uses ‘and’ at the beginning of a sentence in the first paragraph. Yes, i use ‘and’ to start sentences, but I know it’s wrong. I try not to do it often, and I’m writing in a conversational tone, so it’s easier to get away with. Too much, and it jars. You don’t use it when trying to impress someone with your business writing acumen. (Aren’t i great? i can rant and still use ‘acumen’ in a sentence.)

Likewise, don’t tell me you’re a photographer when your pic is crap, either. Oh yes, all i needed this morning was to be unimpressed, so all who lacked Tweet-value are gone. For me, Tweet-value means they give me a giggle or they’re just nice people. I also got rid of anyone who seemed to be fighting with others online, or who didn’t answer my Tweets to them (despite only a few followers) .

I went from over 150 i was Following to… *drum roll* 55! Howzat? And all of them are now people i either like, am giving a chance to, or they amuse meh. Oh – and i kept some of my news feeds, and some of the brainiac brigade, i like to be stimulated.

Ha, in your face, Al Gore. (Yeah, i unFollowed him again – he doesn’t make me laugh.) I kept Guy Kawasaki but not for the usual reasons.

so he invented a motorcycle

so he invented a motorcycle

Yeah, I have a soft spot for his bone structure – lovely cheekbones. You can’t keep trading on the past, though. Oops – i just Googled him – turns out he didn’t invent a motorcycle at all – i reckon he changed his name to that to sound cool. In Australia, he’d be known as Kwakka – as that’s what our shorthand for Kawasaki is.

Quite unintentionally, (repeat after me, Her Majesty says, “intent is for wusses”), I’ve made myself look good on Twitter. I’m only Following 55, but 97 are Following me. So desirable am i, i’ll probably have all these people looking to see why so many are Following – and even if they can’t figure it out, they’ll Follow me to be cool.

Of course, i will lose a bunch, once the 100 or so i was Following Unfollow me.

I only unfollowed Tweeple who i didn’t think i really had anything in common with. I’m on Twitter to make friends, keep my brain active, and have a laugh, not to find marks and suckers. World domination’s really just a sideline, and one i’d like to achieve from talent, not just cleavage.

There are plenty like me. Twitter’s really a nice place, once you get rid of the MLM people (“make $$$ ask me how” is not funny, even the first time you hear it).

Darn it, i just found someone interesting – back to 56 I’m Following. Ooh – but i now have 98 Followers – who will be lucky 100? Oops, no, i’m down to 96… damn! Ooh  – back to 97… *reads profile* hmm – i’m worried, why would someone who says “Husband, Dad, Christ follower, Life and Leadership Coach for ministry leaders, Options Trader, online Professor” be following me?

Omfg – it’s from when i posted about being the Queen of Darkness and the Antichrist – i need to go back to Twitter, check religious affiliations! I’m being infiltrated by Christians! That explains the drunk gay Christian who added me last night! He wasn’t really drunk, or gay – that was all a front. (I deleted him for being drunk, i’m fussy that way.)

Yes, “argh kill me” is still the top search for people who find me – the Christians must think i’m actually killing them. Jeez – life’s just fraught. Ooh, Ooh, number 100 *sound of trumpet fanfare* yeah – a business one, but it’s free, so i followed back. Nice Tweets.

© stinginthetail.wordpress.com


About stinginthetail

On Twitter as @stinginthetail. I write as Lee Abrey. Free copy of my top-rated book Polo Shawcross: The Birthday Dragon at http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/63286 View all posts by stinginthetail

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: