StingintheTail Ministries welcomes you

I was reading the very interesting Pro Blogger who is actually a professional blogger (and making a nice living). He’s a fellow Aussie, (so you know he’s the coolest of the cool, hehehe), and seems to have thought of everything a blogger might want to know. He gives a list of 21 Ways to Write Posts That Are Guaranteed to Grow Your Blog. Just being controversial, passionate, and opinionated gives you three of them.

Oh, phew. I can stop pretending to be meek and mild. I read several pages on his site, and learned a lot. Linking to him like this is also a good idea to grow your readership, lol, but i’m doing it because i ran into him on Twitter and liked his blog.

I like learning about what i do. Learning one’s craft is important. I’ve unwittingly been doing things right, getting most of the 21 Ways. It made me think about what i want this blog to be. Earning money from it seems a stretch, but gosh, it would be nice.

We crossed the 200 visitors mark on the weekend. *skips about* Pro Blogger said if he doesn’t get that a day with even a baby blog, he feels lonely. Ahem. I had about 30 yesterday, and was thrilled, lol.

My obsessions with sex, porn, politics, and religion will stand me in good stead with getting hits from crazed masturbators on Google with upping my readership. It’s not intentional, I really am obsessed with those things. Well, with shouting about them.

Trying to explain what a bad thing the Net Filter is, and why –  that’s also good – people like their news explained and repotted a bit. Being funny – also good. Thank heavens for that. So what am i missing?

Well, Number 11 “write something that gives people a sense of belonging”. Hmm – oh, wait, everyone’s got their jackboots on, ready to invade Budgewoi the moment i get the tank serviced. You’re all part of the invasion force. (Anyone who hasn’t got their jackboots, please contact the blog slave, he’s dealing with back orders.)

See, we all belong. I’m an anarchist monarchist, i get to be queen, then you lot can do what you like.  Anyway, I can only boss one or two of you at a time, you’re quite safe.

I like being helpful, so that part of the list, (several points could be summed up as helping others in various ways) yep, got those. However, i don’t think i’m tapping into your fears enough. Maybe we should call for a list? Ooh – Number 10 – write something that elicits a response. I keep forgetting, you’re allowed to talk back.

Hmm… am I  “unique”, yep, aside from being plagiarised, and “newsworthy”? Well, I thought it was news when i got plagiarised.

Oh – and making money out of a blog? If this surprises me and becomes immensely popular, i’ll be thrilled. I’ll help it, by using tips i glean from people with the kind of traffic i can only dream about, lol. Then i’ll have to get my own site and be serious, i suppose.

If you want to make money out of yours, read Mr Pro Blogger – lots of tips and tricks. He’s also got a jobs board (with actual jobs on it, unlike most sites i see around) if you’re looking for pro blogging work. I didn’t even know there was such a thing.

Look at me, promoting someone else just because they’re good. I can be nice even when i have PMS – who knew? Yes, I still have PMS. We’re running late but it’s nothing to worry about, i’m just a day late. The hormonal overload, despite my best efforts with anti-PMS herbs, has reached crescendo point.

I lost it while cooking last night – the chicken wasn’t done, when i had everything else ready to go. Much weeping and gnashing of teeth, (sorta like in the Bible, but in the kitchen), to the point where Mr Bastard had to take over.

the joys of PMS

the joys of PMS

However, it gave me an idea.  I’ve figured out a way to make money whilst helping you to focus on your fears. Now most of you, men and women alike, are afraid of a woman with PMS, right? Especially when she has a tank. *looks innocent*

This is the deal – i won’t come round your place and cry at you, and all you have to do in return is tithe me. I’ll take cake, phonecards, or dark chocolate. Oh – and money, if you have any, i still need an office chair.

Simple, non? I can’t believe nobody has done this before.

*sounds of whispering*

Oh, wait, i’ve just been told, churches do this. Well, that settles it,  I’m going to register as a religion!

That’s the way to really make money.

© stinginthetail.wordpress.com

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About stinginthetail

Australian. Female. On Twitter as @stinginthetail. I write as Polo Shawcross. 1960 vintage. Quite strange. Free sample of my top-rated book The Birthday Dragon at http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/63286 View all posts by stinginthetail

9 responses to “StingintheTail Ministries welcomes you

  • dam

    Hey. You ARE pretty funny!

  • dam

    LOL. So what are “jackboots”?

    • stinginthetail

      they’re considered essential for the invading army on the march – the Germans wore jackboots… *looks at google*
      closest thing you might know would be US motorcyle cop boots or biker boots. Trust me, you’re all going to look hawt. And you need foot protection, there are prickles in the grass round here.

      Wikipedia says “A jackboot is a type of combat boot that rises to at least mid-calf, has no laces, and typically has a leather sole with hobnails and heel irons. The term probably originates from association with the word jack or jerkin, as a common garment worn by the peasantry.”

  • dam

    Oh. Right-O. I know ’em boots. The cops do wear ’em here-even the ones who ride horses! Thought maybe they were just an Aussie thing.

  • welcome to my award-winning blog « Sting in the Tail

    […] Which explains this one: I used to work as a psychic. I don’t really like taking money for it, which is a shame, because there’s obviously heaps of dollars to be made. We can see how it goes, first, you need to get yourself classified as a religion. […]

  • Nick

    I’m interested in getting in on this religion racket – can I join your church, but then break off due to differences based on the interpretation of a single word in your key literature?

    • stinginthetail

      heh – cool, we can have a schism – it’s so Catholic. It will be good publicity for both of us – we will not talk to each other at synods. Now you can go off and make up your own rules, all backed by “God told me you had to do this”. I recommend “give the priest a tenth of your income”. 😀

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