sex sells

Just with that title, I’ve probably upped the pulling power of this post by 70%. Seriously, is everyone on the net still 15? Still wanking under the covers? Gawd. Everyone’s either sniggering or trying to pretend their genitalia don’t exist.

Yes, I’ve been looking at religious sites again  – some of them were lovely people, others were… a bit strange. The one where Jesus and the bint were about to lock lips especially – if i’d thought that would happen when i became a Bride of Christ, the nuns would have had me at sixteen. My Jesus never tried to grab my jeans-clad buttocks while offering me comfort. i feel cheated.

Anyway, aside from sex, the net is full of people are trying to sell me something. So nothing’s really changed, lol. I had no net growing up, and they were still trying to sell me something, often on the back of sex. People complained then, too.

the problem with bodily fluids

the problem with bodily fluids

I’m selling myself – i take an alright pic, so my face is up there. I work within the system. I’m not actually hard-selling like so many people i keep running into (not sure if web-bots are classified as people).

I’m astonished at the moment by Twitter, my followers went up by 1/4 overnight from 31 to 40 – though Al Gore’s safe for now at 371,104 followers. I am beating some of the fake Al Gore’s already.

That’s Twitter – looking for suckers, potential clients, web traffic, celebrity (at least in the Twitterverse), and omg, some really nice people? Dare I say it, friends? Yep, it’s just like the real world! Most of the Tweeples are nice. Some are brainiacs, some aren’t, and people are really helpful.

Me, i’m just cruising, Tweeting occasionally, enjoying the view, with CNN, Australia’s ABC, and the Lolcats to give me perspective. I’m not going to link to them all – just look at my following and followers, seriously, there aren’t that many in the list, lol. I get precisely no kudos for you doing that.

I’m not trying to hard-sell anyone anything, and (hold onto your hats), i don’t actually want to be famous. Nope, I’m quite happy to run the world from behind the scenes. Put some bimbo or himbo with chest implants in front, as a target for the assassins.

I’ll quietly remove all the crazy people who think the world’s about to end and we’re all about to get sucked up to Heaven, like in a giant vacuum cleaner – except of course for the sinners, who are like those things that get caught in the carpet and won’t budge. Bits of fingernails. Of course, if God had a cyclonic-action cleaner, the sinners could be saved.

too cheap to get his only son a lawyer

God's Giant Vacuum Cleaner with the Faulty Suction

I can’t believe the Almighty is such a skinflint. Sure,  a Dyson’s expensive, but they’re good. What, the world’s not good enough to deserve a decent vacuum cleaner? What are we, chopped liver? Hang on, i’m talking about the guy who wouldn’t get his only son a lawyer. Anyway, they call it the Rapture, the giant vacuum cleaner.

So they don’t care, about pollution, over population, any of it – because it’s the End of Days, and God’s Hoover is about to start.  Only the holier than thou will be sucked up. Or is that sucked in? They’re the ones who think the world has to be in a horrible state before we can get to the wonderful time we were promised in Revelations.

Does the new US president believe in the Giant Vacuum Cleaner With Faulty Suction? I suspect our Australian Prime Minister does – he’s one of them there e-van-jelly-things too. God save us from the born again’s.

Reading religious websites is wrong, i shouldn’t do it. Just click away when i land on one accidentally. Could have been worse. I could have lost followers on Twitter. Where, i have just tipped 44 followers. Oh yes.

Soon, my jackbooted soldiers will be riding tanks down your street – perhaps you’d better add me to your Twitter Follows before i start thinking you’re expendable? Or not. Up to you. *smiles* Completely. Seriously, do i look like the kind of monarch who’ll hold a grudge?

laugh at my jokes or die, it's a simple choice

laugh at my jokes or die, it's a simple choice

45 followers, yes, well done, my Tweeple!

© stinginthetail.wordpress.com

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About stinginthetail

Australian. Female. On Twitter as @stinginthetail. I write as Polo Shawcross. 1960 vintage. Quite strange. Free sample of my top-rated book The Birthday Dragon at http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/63286 View all posts by stinginthetail

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