I was reading back on this morning’s post. Someone’s got to read it, there’s not many people even know about it yet. Still, the work towards world domination continues, i’m up to 31 followers on Twitter.
I expect to be able to invade something (like Poland) once my loyal troops get here, but don’t hold your breath, hardly anyone’s RSVPed to my offer of a good square meal in exchange for invading the Budgewoi foreshore.
It’s a lovely spot. Still, perhaps it’s too soon – i should just annex the next house along and wait before i invade the picnic area.
While reading, i check for typos. Mistakes cost meaning. If people always misunderstand you, it’s probably because what you think and what you type are two different things.
Like the guy on a private site i saw this morning – “do you think it’s right,” he blogged, “that the government is giving money to people with work instead of giving it to the people who need it, the people with work?”
No, it doesn’t make sense – he missed out putting an out on the end of the 2nd with. We can figure out what he means (i’ve made it clear in my paraphrased example), but it’s not always that easy.
One of the most common left-out words in internet chat and writing is “not”. The number of times i’ve seen people get in trouble with that one.
Besides, if you don’t read your own blogs, you never get to know that you typoed child sexual abuse as cichlid sex abuse, and so nobody knew what the fuck you were talking about, except some dude with a background in freshwater fish.
The fish bloke gave you a long and incomprehensible email lecture on how though he had some sympathy with your views, you were never going to convince the mainstream fish hobbyist that baby cichlids could be affected by viewing Toaster Insertions XX.
Anyway, i was reading, thinking about how i don’t have many readers, and thought, hang on… and i Googled myself. Which was just magnificent. I had one of those “in your face Al Gore!” moments (he’s got a bigger following than i have on Twitter). Yep *looks proud* I’m on Google.
My last website, which i started back in 1998, despite me trying my best, only made it to Google after about eight years, under the most bizarre search terms. One was shoe. (It’s not there any more – with no notice, Tripod deleted it, after ten years, then wouldn’t explain why they had done so, though they did switch the blank site back on. So screw you guys.)
ZOMG i said to Mr Bastard, after Googling myself, I’m searchable! How good is WordPress? They said they’d get me on Google, and there i am! He was happy for me. He’s seen bits of the content, but he’s not actually reading this, so i could say stuff about him and he’d never know. Hang on, i gave him the URL. Sshhh.
Anyway, i don’t usually write to people to say, excuse me, but when you said you were in favour of killing all people over the age of 23, did you mean you weren’t? Seeing you’re 24? But damnation, I WANT TO.
Maybe i should start a company, that just reads people’s websites and spots the typos. I could be very sarcastic, and call it Stinginthemail. Charge people, obviously – anyone who’d like their site checked, please make me an offer.
I could give my mother a job, she can spot a typo at 100 paces, we both can. She needs a job, says she can’t live on the pension – i said, ffs, it’s not a lifestyle choice, mother, (not unless i actually make some money some day, and can help her out), but she misheard me, and now thinks that failing to live within your means is a lifestyle choice.
The English language is flexible, (we can live with a different version in every English speaking country) but some things will actually break it.
(I try to be scrupulous about attribution and citing.
If you don’t think i’ve cited your work properly,
or you want a link to your site removed, please – just ask.)