toaster sex will rot your brain..

It gets funnier – people have had a chance to go through the list of  sites to be completely banned in Australia. One of them, Abbywinters, was winner of the Best Adult Site in Australia, the last three years running. On the front page, they say.

Parents, we recommend http://www.child-internet-safety.com
to ensure your children cannot access our site.

They’re not the only site that thought they were legal to be banned. Surprise, apparently nudity, breasts, genitalia of any kind, dentistry, and of course, toaster insertions, (a common kind of extreme porn, see previous post) are now completely illegal in Australia.

the dangers of pornography

the dangers of pornography

They’ve even banned a site where women show their G-strings (thongs in US) above their jeans. I object to being criminalised just because i have illegal body parts – i didn’t know they were illegal when i incarnated on this backward planet.

A couple of fetish sites are on the list. We all know, one spank, and bam, you’re robbing liquor stores and raping passing antelope. Some gambling sites are banned, but not all – which is just as well, they’re not actually illegal. However, some take babies in exchange for chips – who knew? Animal boarding kennels are also verboten. Yep, i knew someone who put their kids in kennels accidentally,and took the dog on holidays.

They’ve banned a lot of ordinary porn too. (Men and women doing it to each other, no under-age toasters involved.) There’s a few others (about half) also with no apparent connection to kiddies.

Oh yeah, then there’s the geriatric sex site – lol. Omg, the wrinklies are doing it! That’s so hot, i think i’ll just… um… wow, look at how their baggy bits are all moving, like some kind of giant sea anemone. This is supposed to make me want to attack children?

A woman from a child advocacy group said that every fifteen-year-old boy in the country would be chasing this list of banned sites. gigglesnort!

Erm – leaving aside the very sexist assumption that girls are never curious enough to look at porn – young people don’t need a list to find porn. Or weird sites.

They can do it whenever their parents fail to supervise them on the net. Or at school, when teachers leave the kids alone on the computers which already have filters on them. Installing a Filter and destroying freedom of speech and expression in this country, won’t change this fact.

So i suppose i’m going to have to stop masturbating again. I don’t want to be busted, i’m a cleanskin. It’s alright, i think i can take this celibacy gig. I still had a sore wrist from all the wanking last week, after the toaster porn went hardcore. Who knew a woman could do double entry toasters?

Latest from the fundamentalist Christians, a poster campaign warning of the dangers of masturbation. They decided to try to hitch a ride on the popularity of the Lolcats.

toaster porn claims another victim

toaster porn claims another victim

For those who don’t speak Lolspeak -kittehz means cats – represented here by cutest kitten on planet.

Oh, no,” sez kitteh, “more cats will die.
The cats
beg you, don’t touch the toaster.”

How do i know lolspeak?
it’s not hard to learn – they have a how to

© stinginthetail.wordpress.com

Advertisements

About stinginthetail

On Twitter as @stinginthetail. I write as Lee Abrey. Free copy of my top-rated book Polo Shawcross: The Birthday Dragon at http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/63286 View all posts by stinginthetail

5 responses to “toaster sex will rot your brain..

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: