It’s Fucktard Time at The OK Corral

Have been watching Mr Whatsit get flamed – for what massive crime? (i hear you ask, in a neat literary device thingie.) Was it for abusing someone? No, for daring to mention his dislike of plagiarism, a subject i’ve covered before, (after one of my posts was copied word for word and put up on another blog site as all someone else’s work).

Despite saying he’s against plagiarism, he’s been accused so far of being in favour of censorship, against free speech, and – my personal favourite – of being a communistic Nazi. Wow, i thought, they must be saying that because he’s my consort.

I shouted, “Tell them you’re an anarchist monarchist!” and threw him an assault rifle. We don’t take prisoners in the Kingdom of Darkness. Who wants pet fucktards? You only have to muck out their stables. And feed them pony nuts. Wait, that’s Shetlands.

Fucktards aren’t half as much fun.

most blogs, you get gratuitous pictures of breasts - this is a gratuitous Shetland pony. I like ponies. It's my blog. I can have ponies. Do not get between me and my pony. My pony will take you down. Srsly.

I would much rather have a Shetland than a fucktard, and i used to help look after two of the little bastards. Shetlands, that is, not fucktards. I’ve been pony-crazed since rather young, so much so that my parents hired a pony for my sixth birthday.

I thought he was for a present, not for the day. Life pretty much went downhill from there, and this kind of pony-related trauma is why i need to invade Queensland. Ha, thought i’d forgotten?

No way, am merely biding my time, (slightly delayed due to elements temporarily beyond my control, like ‘the world’) then zip, the Queen of Darkness will be across the northern border quicker than you can say, “Would you like pineapple with that?” If not pineapple, it’s banana.

And they don’t ask, it’s just there – ubiquitous pineapple and banana. I was amazed when I moved to Queensland, and grapefruit disappeared from “breakfast juice” to be replaced with pineapple and banana. Strange people, Queenslanders, but for all that, i like them. Generally, they’re very down to earth.

Trapped here in New South Wales, I hesitate to criticise, in case the locals burn me at the stake. Am always wondering if i should play dumb at the supermarket in case someone detects a brain in a woman – or realises i don’t have a badly ageing tattoo somewhere and that i actually read for pleasure – and starts screaming, “She’s a witch, she’s a witch! Burn her!”

Wait, just saying that is pretty critical, right? I will spread the load – it actually reminds me heaps of Western Australia, my home state.

But wait…. before i lose it completely about my beloved homeland, someone deciding anti-plagiarism is a sign of censorship made me realise what’s going on. See, they’re not even in Australia! Yep, we’re in the middle of worldwide fucktard season. Ah, of course, that explains everything.

The bad news? It’s been going on since the dawn of time. For some reason, they won’t let me shoot fucktards, so i have to be content with laughing at them.

© stinginthetail.wordpress.com

oh, isn’t that typical?

Here we are, swine flu apocalypse, me wondering if hiding under my bed is the sensible option, and the Rapturists saying this is teh End of Dayz. Or maybe  it was the Lolcats who said it. (There’s a Lolspeak Bible.) Lots of people are going to be wiped out, just a few tattered survivors living in caves, being bothered by the Antichrist.

Of course – Armageddon is happening just as a nice thing happened. Well, two nice things, so i’m pretty much overwhelmed. Some of you may remember me pinning your ears back, over what i thought of plagiarists, after someone nicked a blog post. I was quite annoyed.

However *drumroll* Google has taken down the stolen post *sounds of cheering* and another person’s post he stole – but not the whole blog *sigh* but it’s good news overall *polite applause*.

The other nice thing was that the Mumbrella website (all about Aussie media and marketing), that i mentioned in my last post, featured a quote and link to my blog on their page, under Opinion. Look! That’s me! In the purplish square. I was gobsmacked. And very, very pleased.

i got a mention!

Spooky thing (non- apocalypse related): while i was working on the post, i got a notification of a new Follower on Twitter – and it turned out to be @Mumbrella.

I followed them back and then warned about the post referencing them, in case i’d accidentally been offensive. I’d rather they complained to me, you see. So i expected them to read it, but the link was a lovely surprise.

The world ending right after that – and just as Google did my bidding – is the pits. I can’t die now, ffs. Don’ t you understand? If Google follows my orders, I may actually be the Antichrist and the Queen of Darkness.This could be my big break!

I could spit! What’s the use of me being queen if you’re all dead? Or if i am? If there’s a God, he’s a freaking tease and this is why i decided to be the Queen of Darkness. Ahem. I nearly stamped my feet real-time then.

Mr Whatsit saw my mention (which sounds like a strange euphemism). I had to show him before the world ended. He came back later, reminded me that i’d been linked, and that i was nearly famous. I got a little glow. One day, maybe i’ll be blasé over mentions, but for now i’m happy-dancing.

When the remnant survivors of the apocalypse come out of their caves, (no, i hadn’t forgotten they were in there), maybe they’ll find some of my Tweets and a blog post, with links to bits of my work that sound like they’d be good – and i’ll be like one of those Greek writers we know about because other people say they’re cool.

Of course, if i make it to the caves, i might be able to start again. I can cook and do weird sexual things, which may ensure my survival. Oh – if you’re really worried about the Rapture, the friendly folk at Post-Rapture Post will help out. They promise to deliver your smug, nagging letters to your friends and relatives who haven’t been sucked up in God’s Giant Vacuum Cleaner with the Faulty Suction (for an explanation of the Rapture, read my post Sex Sells).

I’m betting I’ll be left behind, what with my predilections for heresy and sex. We will be forsaken by Ceiling Cat, dealing with boils – or it may have been furballs – and the Antichrist, which may be me. *sweet smile* I figure it’s no use denying it, because the Antichrist would deny it.

There’s also a new Messiah. Like the old one didn’t cause enough trouble. Be nice to each other, he said – lol – alien concept or what? No wonder they nailed him to a tree. Today, Jesus would be on Twitter, saying “Follow me, i am the Way” and people would be going “i bet you’re a bot”. I’ll probably be sarcastic, and tease him with “find God, ask  me how!” or “make $$$ out of suckers who believe they are the cheese makers”.

He won’t get the Monty Python’s Life of Brian reference, of course – we’ll need to sit him down, make him watch that, and all the awful movies like Mel Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ. And the one where John Wayne is a centurion – The Robe? And Jesus Christ Superstar.

He’ll be so creeped out, he’ll forget about the Apocalypse – and this will be my opportunity to move into the power void. Ha! Now would be a good time to follow me on Twitter – there will be those who got in Before Apocalypse, and those who came After. You know which ones will get the Hello Kitty Kalashnikovs.

On Twitter, people seem to be fluctuating between genuine hysteria and hysterical laughter over the swine flu apocalypse – probably normal, actually. Here’s a page with a list of symptoms so you can tell the difference between the flu and a cold. I’m getting a bit annoyed over the people with head colds saying they’re probably going to die – hence the link.

I’m doubly annoyed, as i had a shot for flu, but it’s the wrong freaking kind. Now i’m just a person who had a dead arm for four days from the shot, got woken up by the pain every time i rolled over in the night, (my immune system is overactive), was still bruised two weeks later (i’m delicate, ok?), and now, I might die anyway. So don’t complain to me about your freaking head cold. Ahem.

The last post was a reasonably coherent one, now here i am, wittering on about vacuum cleaners in the sky and making my mark before the world ends. Point is, (somewhere in the wittering, there is a point) i’m used to getting my hopes up – i’ve been in lots of bands, and other group endeavours from businesses to drama groups.

My happiness is not dependent on worldly success. Which is lucky, or i’d be completely freaking miserable, all the time. From promising beginnings, i’ve made it as far as “epic fail” – but things could be heaps worse – i found happiness along the way.

Sometime in amongst the strange things, i found Zen, and though i have my bad days, i am basically content. I was like this before i met Mr Whatsit – my state of mind is not dependent on others, on love, health, wealth, or good things happening in an unending stream – life isn’t like that. However, I do enjoy the good stuff.

I’m loving my victory over the plagiarist via Google, and my mention.

© stinginthetail.wordpress.com

contempt for the public? we haz it!

A while back i posted OMG I Was Violated, about being plagiarised by someone who stole one of my blog posts – on the second day i was blogging here. I discovered all his posts were stolen, and reported them to Google Blogspot who were hosting his blog, and also took the time to let about nine other bloggers know that they’d been plagiarised too.

Google refused to take a plagiarism report unless in writing or by fax – neither of which are easily possible for me. Besides, the idea of trying to draft a legal document for a legal system i’m not part of was a serious turn-off – what if i said the wrong thing and laid myself open to a lawsuit? I’m poor enough, i don’t need to be in the freaking gutter. So i reported it as impersonation – he’d lifted a post which mentioned my name – and pointed out all the other people who’d been impersonated.

Absolutely nothing had happened – all the stolen posts were still up, and they never got back to me, despite me including my real name, photo, and other details as they requested. I was thinking well screw you, Google and Blogspot, i’m really glad i stopped using Google Mail (some of us like an indexing system that makes sense), and decided not to use Blogspot for my blog.

Then i heard on Twitter that Google had changed their plagiarism reporting requirements, and were now taking proper action against plagiarists on their sites. The info came from @problogger who as Australia’s top blog site, gets plagiarised a lot and has an excellent and scarily funny post on Top 8 Excuses for Stealing Other People’s Content . It’s scarily funny because the excuses are so freaking lame.

So i’ve put in a report , and contacted the last few people i could find from yet more stolen posts on his site, to let them know they can now report it easily. Some posts obviously weren’t his – but some people don’t let Google access their blog, so despite having actually read some of the posts on other blogs, i can’t find the owners. Fingers crossed they finally remove the stolen blogs and shut down the thief.

What really gets me, is that Google have up until now made it hard to report – which made them into a company that condoned intellectual and copyright theft. I don’t know why i expect them to be different from the other corporations – oh wait, yes i do – it’s because Google promote themselves as different, as being both human and humane. I’d have liked to boycott them – but trying to live without Google search might cause problems.

Anyway – if you want to report a plagiarised blog hosted on Google/Blogspot – go to this Google link, and fill the form in – is simple – all you need is your work’s URL, and the URL of the (must be Google/Blogspot) site that’s reproducing it without your consent.

Another corporation exposing its inhuman side is Amazon – who removed all gay and lesbian literature from their listings, and were subsequently outed on Twitter (among other places) over the Easter Weekend. This led to them being branded with #amazonfail in the Tweetstream.

I left the below on a blog this morning that asked if the whole Amazonfail thing actually mattered. Yes, i think it does.

I was on Twitter over the Easter weekend, so saw #amazonfail take off – Amazon first said in email to an author that “the company was excluding “ ‘adult’ material from appearing in some searches and best-seller lists.””

For ‘adult’, read ‘gay & lesbian’ – there were anti-homosexual books still available, along with very adult sex toys, and hetero erotica – funny how the catalogue works, huh?

Then Amazon changed their tune (perhaps realising it didn’t actually stand up to any serious scrutiny), and blamed a cataloguing error. It’s laughable. I’d take them seriously if they admitted someone had censored their lists of books, and they’d now fired that person/s. Instead, we got dribble – which however well-worded is still corporate spin to control the damage. However, the damage to their reputation is ongoing – #amazonfail is still on Twitter.

In six months, i think people will still be picking up stories like this from the net – after all – it’s news. Censorship, right wing religious views being forced on the book-buying public, and bigotry – it all works for me.

As for Amazon, well, lol. Yes, of course. We believe you, Amazon – that’s why the trend #amazonfail is still trending on Twitter and serious newspapers are taking up the story in droves.

Like the company and their ad agency that thought making up a fake romantic story was a good idea to sell clothes, and was surprised by the public backlash (i blogged about this in “lying and misrepresentation make u immoral scum…“), Amazon is discovering that introducing censorship via a secret agenda also doesn’t endear you to anyone, and then, when you lie about why you did it, people are even less impressed.

As i said at the end of “lying and misrepresentation make u immoral scum…“

So – would you buy from a company that thought you were a stupid twat?

I wouldn’t. And i won’t.

UPDATE: 28th of April – another of the bloggers plagiarised let me know her post was gone from the plagiarist blog – i checked, mine is too.
I’m really pleased.

© stinginthetail.wordpress.com

OMG I was VIOLATED

i read a lot of stuff, some of it soaks into my head and stays there. One bit was when i was learning (well, my first day) on WordPress, reading help pages, and they had suggestions for what to do when your work was plagiarised (there are different things to do, depending if plagiarist is on this site or not).

They said, check every so often, just take a post from your blog, and post a chunk of the text into Google. Well, during an ad break, i did, and SOME BASTARD had stolen this post. The fucktard even left my name in the text, just cut and pasted it wholesale.

Anyway, i sent off a report to blogspot about the blog, which wasn’t easy, they don’t have a direct way. I had to report it as them stealing my identity.

I did the report, including my real name, a photograph, etc. And bam, take that plagiarising scum from Hell! So i looked at the rest of the blog. And every freaking post was stolen.

Having just left a site because several of the bloggers were outed as fakes and plagiarists and the site did nothing, i was annoyed. Plus i had some time to spare. Eight google searches later, i’d left comments on eight blogs, to say, excuse me, but while you were happily blogging away there, someone sneaked in and stole your words.

I hope they all complain to blogspot, and that blogspot NUKE THE MOFO! Ahem. I’m not generally in favour of the death penalty, but for word stealing i’ll go with it. *mutter*

It is kinda flattering – i’ve already got stalkers, hence my real name not being on this blog, and now i have someone pretending they could possibly write like me. Pffft. When i am queen, i will hunt down the pile of wombat droppings and crush him/her like a … wombat dropping!

Anyway – i also adjusted my blog, so it doesn’t show more than the first 50 words on one of those feed readers – how to is here.

What was it about copyright you didn’t understand, twatbreath?

i poke fun at word-rustlers

I just realised, i was literally online with this blog for two days before being plagiarised. I started on the 10th, the post he copied was written on the 12th, and he re-posted it the same day.

Fucking A i think that might be a record!

Postscript 15th April 2009 – Google (who own blogspot) have changed their plagiarism/content theft reporting – you now no longer have to write or fax, you can make your report online, and it’s dead-easy. About effing time, in my view – they’ve been making it easier for the thieves – now, anyone with problems can go to their report page.

(Or cut and paste

http://help.blogger.com/bin/request.py?contact_type=blogger_dmca_infringment#infringement)

© stinginthetail.wordpress.com