I detect a sense of Christmas obsession in those who accidentally visited this blog in the last week. Now (i think) i know why My House Is Trying To Kill Me (the old post on mould/mold) is getting so much traffic – it’s people looking for gingerbread.
I hope you enjoyed the rant on the stupidity of doctors, the cruelty of real estate agents, the possibly pertinent advice on health, and the pretty gingerbread house pic. At least i cited the pic’s origin, so they wouldn’t waste their time, and meanwhile, decuisine (where pic comes from) is getting a lot of hits from me. ‘Tis the season for giving, right?
I’m the Antichrist, this jolly Christmas bollocks doesn’t come naturally.
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Thought for the Day: Did you take time to muse on the exquisite cruelty of Google, that brings you interesting things to read when you really don’t have time to get distracted by a blog?
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The gingerbread thing is out of control out there…
Top Searches
gingerbread house, gingerbread house pictures, sick gingerbread house, award winning gingerbread houses, award-winning gingerbread house
See what i mean? Lucky my gingerbread house is actually a beautiful one with a link to a proper recipe, it might have been a dead-end.
Today, another 20 have already arrived on the “gingerbread house” search (thank you Baby Jebus, for your birthday, when peoplez do search for gingerbread a lot), but there was enough other weird stuff to reassure me. I am not looking forward to my gingerbread comedown in January, but my target market are still out there, searching for camel toe.
Yesterday this was the tally.
| gingerbread house | 50 |
| hello kitty tattoos | 2 |
| award-winning gingerbread house | 2 |
| worst ginerbread houses | 2 |
| sick gingerbread house | 2 |
| artwork sting in the tail | 1 |
| what goes camel toe mean | 1 |
| camel toe female | 1 |
| hello kitty tattoo ideas | 1 |
| robson green nude | 1 |
Of course, there are sicker things, Horatio, ‘twixt Heaven and Earth, than bad spelling, camel toe, and gingerbread obsessives. Yes, “Robson Green nude“. There’s scary. I had a wee run in with him a few posts ago.
Just when you think you’ve heard the most awful thing you can imagine, you notice something in the list…. yes, “hello kitty tattoo ideas“. Motherfucker. We need to track that one down and exterminate before they breed. (Though again, Google wasn’t actually lying, i do have several Hello Kitty Tattoos around the place. Not on me, i hasten to add.)
However, it being that time of year, maybe we could just spay the people who want HK on their bodies? As a munificent gesture to the Season. Hang on, why am i asking anyone? I’m the Queen of Darkness, and you’re supposed to trip over yourselves to do my bidding. Shift it, there’s spaying to be done!
Hu-mans, as the Ferengi say on Star Trek. I am so glad i’m an alien – especially having just returned from the local shopping centre.
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There are heaps of vile things happening in the world, pollution – so cunningly rebranded as ‘carbon’ and taxable, and what fun, to be bought and sold on the stock market.
World leaders continue to stick their heads in the sand (which they’ve been doing since the 60′s, ignoring pollution). So, what strange manner of beast is this, that lurches towards Bethlehem to be born? I think it’s lurching towards the next Global Financial Crisis.
In other news: The Australian Government is bringing in the legislation for the Internet Filter, (in first 6 months of 2010) just as China is removing their filter and moving towards filtering each machine (at machine level, because an ISP filter doesn’t work very well and slows the net for everyone, even Communist Party high-ups who are allowed to read about democracy and indulge in nipples).
I really can’t think about why a democracy needs to take us back to the fifties – yep, even in the sixties we could see more than will be able to on the net. I will be able to see more on normal television. Our government are paying off the Christian Right as i’ve been saying for a while now. Bloody hell, people – our Prime Minister is a member of the Christian Right, he’s the biggest wowser of them all.
No nipples at all – anything adult is about to be banned. Everyone, get your tickets now for the book burnings. My blog (which mentions much more than nipples, just look at my tags!) may end up behind a firewall i can’t access without risking criminalisation.
Oh yeah – and if you think the hardcore Christians (people like the Australian Christian Lobby) will stop there? They have already said, next is all porn in print and video form, and all adult entertainment. Because it’s a well-known truism that nipples drive young men to crime.
I can picture the meeting of the Christians Under Nipple Threat Society. I just love their initials.
“Yep, nipples are responsible for the drugs that destroy our young people.”
“People drink and drive because of nipples.”
“Men’s nipples?”
“Men’s nipples are exempt on account they aren’t attached to Whores of Babylon.”
“They’re taking our jobs!”
“Damn nipples. Let’s kill them.”
“Wait, they’re attached to women.”
“What, all women?”
*cue worried silence*
Aw, even the Christians can’t think of a reason to kill all the women.
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So. This is where my head’s at. The voices-outside-my-head say if we don’t put something here, it will be New Year and we’ll be feeling guilt-ridden.
Oh, then there’s The Thing. Which does have another working title, but “The Thing” is shorter. The first book of a six book series. It’s going well, i have about 80k, (after 80 days) and have paused to regroup and check, after a couple of mistakes that cost me days correcting their tentacles through the narrative.
I’m experimenting with organisational methods, but discovered the two free programs for writers i tried weren’t for me (Ywriter5 by an Aussie programmer and writer seemed the best of them by a long shot, as you can import an existing project and it seemed easy to use). They didn’t go into as much detail as my system did, and there was no facility for linking to my spreadsheets.
Pfft – if you can’t link to spreadsheets, what’s the point? So, I am hoping to get a copy of Mind Manager soon. I’ll let you know how i go with that. I tried it on a trial – they do a free 30-day trial – and wow. Am very much a beginner on it, but as a project management tool, it rocks. And you can link to hyperlinks and spreadsheets – any file.
Anything else you need to know? Yes, yes, the Queen of Darkness is still invading Queensland in ’10. As for New South Wales, i have so far taken over a small section of the Coles Budgewoi carpark simply by putting some ribbons on poles around some parking spots. I’ve extended this plan to large parts of all local shopping centres. Heh!
I have now begun to annex the highways by simply putting traffic cones on the lanes i want. Yes, that’s me.
Whenever you see a traffic cone, and nobody working on the road, you know, Her Majesty is on her way.
And I come bearing gifts.
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